Post by Ashen on Sept 12, 2012 0:05:44 GMT -6
No one seems to wanna wake you up in the morning...
It's ridiculously easy to get on Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks.
Bill collectors either get outrun or maimed.
Siblings? What siblings?
Cut down on food bills AND world overpopulation at the same time!
Halloween's a breeze.
Fuck with your landlord's mind.
Full moon. Midnight session of Congress. Put 'em together.
Can fit in on the subway.
Can get on for free on trains.
Can truthfully say "My dog ate the other 90 reasons".
Can truthfully say "My dog ate my homework."
Can catch that !&#)!@*# black cat who's giving you bad luck.
Never have to worry about buying a new coat every year for winter.
_STILL_ not weird enough to get on a Michael Jackson video.
Who needs a coat for winter? =)
Can dry off by shaking entire body.
Easy money: Go to a barber shop and sue for malpractice.
Can eat anything in one bite.
Can take care of the barking dog next door.
Finally get back at the dentist.
You can scratch/scritch yourself w/o the aid of a human or object.
Easy to bury incriminating leftovers.
Rick Baker will want to become a personal friend.
Charles Manson is a damn good cook.
Can detect a killer beer 5 miles away (Silver Bullet... UGH!).
Can play Frisbee with yourself.
Nobody can sneak up on you because you can smell them first.
Can stick head out of car *AND* legally get away with it.
Can finally discover how many licks it takes to get to the centre of a Tootsie Pop.
Can finally get rid of those cats who keep waking you up in the middle of the night (no offence to Quartz).
Confuse the hell out of your tailor/dry cleaner.
Three words: FREE CAT FOOD (for werefelines).
Can sniff out SO infidelity in a flash.
Can finally get a spot as special guest villain on the 60's Batman show *SOCK!* *POW!*.
Werefelines...Catman/Catwoman has nothing on you.
No need for covers, blanket, bed, etc... when going to sleep.
You are your own best friend.
No need for clothes when going to the beach.
Hibachi? Who needs a hibachi?
No need for a letter opener when opening letters.
Can easily shred junk mail for camp fire.
Steady job as a professional wrestler.
Steady Job as movie/video game villain.
Can give a person one heck of a back scratching.
Nice icebreaker at parties, also good for 'chewing the fat'.
Good for young kids to give them something nice & furry to pet.
Can sell shredded fur to thread companies.
Could always explain your Jon Talbain/Felicia/Sabrewulf/Riptor fetish..
When someone tells you "Bite me!", you can!
Can imitate video game or movie creatures.
Can use claws to poke holes in cans.
Mom wont tell you not to play with your food.
Never have to be squeamish about blood.
All the sports teams will want you as a mascot.
Don't have to use a knife and fork to rip off meat.
You can do a *great* Wolfman Jack imitation.
Can spook the new neighbours easily...
Security wont bother you when you go to kill the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers won't be much of a problem either....
Can earn extra pay as "rabbit" control at peoples gardens.
Can replace "Cat" as the new character on Red Dwarf.
Attract every sideshow circus in the world.
Can easily be hired for security.
Fur is excellent for snuggling.
One *hell* of a French kiss.
Can imitate a major god in Indian culture (in India) Background: Indian god Vishnu came down as one of nine "avatars" one of which was a man-lion!
Ski trips suddenly don't need all that bulky clothing.
Can easily clean up small messes in the kitchen.
Can hear people coming up to you w/o turning head.
Can take care of the bully at school.
Make new friends easily at the zoo.
Can enter a 7-11 (or local convenience store) and get a drink for *much* cheaper prices.
Never get robbed when working counter at 7-11.
Can react better to people who want to put a leash & collar on you.
Customers are nice to you when working the customer service dept. at a store.
Can *easily* buy 50 pound bags of food at local feed store. [By Reemul]
Will be slightly safer in New York after dark. [But only slightly - By Leaper]
Nobody will bother you if you go out for a late night stroll in the park.
Can evade dog catcher easily.
Good shot at starring role in the next "Shaggy Dog" film.
Could be next new character in Mortal Kombat 4!
Have chance to be included in the next video game.
No need to cover face while yawning!
MMMMmmmmmmmm.... Free smells.....
Save on soap! Just buy shampoo.
Never have to go to the fruit section again.
Spokesperson on the effectiveness of deodorant& breath freshener...
Be envy of all on AHWw!
Dental Hygiene via doggy biscuits.
Beef Jerky only costs 99 cents.
Never have to see a doctor *AGAIN*!
Get Fox's next "Encounters" special all to yourself!
X-Files? You ARE one!
Can Easily groom & clean yourself.
Scratching/scritchon always a turnon.
Can find better things to do than filling out lists!
Blue Ribbon at every pet show!
Can take over the world! [By Walksie]
The tongue has so many uses!
It's SO DAMN *COOL*!
By STriker, Quartz, Leaper, Techwolf, & Winter - AHWW
Add to this ^_^ .......
It's ridiculously easy to get on Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks.
Bill collectors either get outrun or maimed.
Siblings? What siblings?
Cut down on food bills AND world overpopulation at the same time!
Halloween's a breeze.
Fuck with your landlord's mind.
Full moon. Midnight session of Congress. Put 'em together.
Can fit in on the subway.
Can get on for free on trains.
Can truthfully say "My dog ate the other 90 reasons".
Can truthfully say "My dog ate my homework."
Can catch that !&#)!@*# black cat who's giving you bad luck.
Never have to worry about buying a new coat every year for winter.
_STILL_ not weird enough to get on a Michael Jackson video.
Who needs a coat for winter? =)
Can dry off by shaking entire body.
Easy money: Go to a barber shop and sue for malpractice.
Can eat anything in one bite.
Can take care of the barking dog next door.
Finally get back at the dentist.
You can scratch/scritch yourself w/o the aid of a human or object.
Easy to bury incriminating leftovers.
Rick Baker will want to become a personal friend.
Charles Manson is a damn good cook.
Can detect a killer beer 5 miles away (Silver Bullet... UGH!).
Can play Frisbee with yourself.
Nobody can sneak up on you because you can smell them first.
Can stick head out of car *AND* legally get away with it.
Can finally discover how many licks it takes to get to the centre of a Tootsie Pop.
Can finally get rid of those cats who keep waking you up in the middle of the night (no offence to Quartz).
Confuse the hell out of your tailor/dry cleaner.
Three words: FREE CAT FOOD (for werefelines).
Can sniff out SO infidelity in a flash.
Can finally get a spot as special guest villain on the 60's Batman show *SOCK!* *POW!*.
Werefelines...Catman/Catwoman has nothing on you.
No need for covers, blanket, bed, etc... when going to sleep.
You are your own best friend.
No need for clothes when going to the beach.
Hibachi? Who needs a hibachi?
No need for a letter opener when opening letters.
Can easily shred junk mail for camp fire.
Steady job as a professional wrestler.
Steady Job as movie/video game villain.
Can give a person one heck of a back scratching.
Nice icebreaker at parties, also good for 'chewing the fat'.
Good for young kids to give them something nice & furry to pet.
Can sell shredded fur to thread companies.
Could always explain your Jon Talbain/Felicia/Sabrewulf/Riptor fetish..
When someone tells you "Bite me!", you can!
Can imitate video game or movie creatures.
Can use claws to poke holes in cans.
Mom wont tell you not to play with your food.
Never have to be squeamish about blood.
All the sports teams will want you as a mascot.
Don't have to use a knife and fork to rip off meat.
You can do a *great* Wolfman Jack imitation.
Can spook the new neighbours easily...
Security wont bother you when you go to kill the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers.
The Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers won't be much of a problem either....
Can earn extra pay as "rabbit" control at peoples gardens.
Can replace "Cat" as the new character on Red Dwarf.
Attract every sideshow circus in the world.
Can easily be hired for security.
Fur is excellent for snuggling.
One *hell* of a French kiss.
Can imitate a major god in Indian culture (in India) Background: Indian god Vishnu came down as one of nine "avatars" one of which was a man-lion!
Ski trips suddenly don't need all that bulky clothing.
Can easily clean up small messes in the kitchen.
Can hear people coming up to you w/o turning head.
Can take care of the bully at school.
Make new friends easily at the zoo.
Can enter a 7-11 (or local convenience store) and get a drink for *much* cheaper prices.
Never get robbed when working counter at 7-11.
Can react better to people who want to put a leash & collar on you.
Customers are nice to you when working the customer service dept. at a store.
Can *easily* buy 50 pound bags of food at local feed store. [By Reemul]
Will be slightly safer in New York after dark. [But only slightly - By Leaper]
Nobody will bother you if you go out for a late night stroll in the park.
Can evade dog catcher easily.
Good shot at starring role in the next "Shaggy Dog" film.
Could be next new character in Mortal Kombat 4!
Have chance to be included in the next video game.
No need to cover face while yawning!
MMMMmmmmmmmm.... Free smells.....
Save on soap! Just buy shampoo.
Never have to go to the fruit section again.
Spokesperson on the effectiveness of deodorant& breath freshener...
Be envy of all on AHWw!
Dental Hygiene via doggy biscuits.
Beef Jerky only costs 99 cents.
Never have to see a doctor *AGAIN*!
Get Fox's next "Encounters" special all to yourself!
X-Files? You ARE one!
Can Easily groom & clean yourself.
Scratching/scritchon always a turnon.
Can find better things to do than filling out lists!
Blue Ribbon at every pet show!
Can take over the world! [By Walksie]
The tongue has so many uses!
It's SO DAMN *COOL*!
By STriker, Quartz, Leaper, Techwolf, & Winter - AHWW
Add to this ^_^ .......
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